So You Think You Might Fall Under The Aromantic Umbrella? Or Maybe You Feel Romantic Attraction In A Non-Standard Way?
That's so awesome!The aim of this Carrd is to provide a simple "quiz" to help you become aware of some Aromantic and lesser-known romantic terms that you may or may not relate to! I will also be providing a glossary page for those who don't feel like clicking through all the options. You are in no way obligated to identify with the terms I provide in response to your answers.Yes, there are a bunch of micro-labels.No, you are NOT obligated to know what every single one of them means.This “quiz” is purely for the purpose of education and exploration. You could identify with none of them, or you could identify with TEN! Romantic attraction is fluid, complicated, and an entirely personal experience. Just like your sexual oriention, gender identity, gender expression, what have you. That’s why you’ll see so many hyper-specific micro-labels. They are not created as a way to divide us into neat little boxes but are instead meant to empower those who identify with them and help them feel less alone!On the other hand, I will say I've made the decision to not include micro-labels in which trauma alone has caused the user's aromanticism. While I understand wanting to put a name to your experiences and feel less alone, I am not comfortable with the idea of giving victims of abuse an excuse to never work through said trauma because "oh, well, I'm just such-and-such-romantic now". Your trauma does not have to define you.One final note: please be aware that the terms I am providing will have nothing to do with your attraction/preference in regards to gender/sex/etc. I'm operating under the assumption that you already know WHO you're attracted to, just not HOW or IF you're attracted to them romantically.Click Here! for some useful terms you may want to familiarize yourself with before proceeding.With that out of the way, let's get started!
(Actually, Just Take Me To The Glossary Page Please)
Types of Attraction
Aesthetic attraction: occurs when someone appreciates the appearance or beauty of another person(s), disconnected from sexual or romantic attraction.
Alterous attraction: a form of emotional attraction. It describes a feeling that is not necessarily platonic/queerplatonic, but also is not romantic in nature. It's a pull toward emotional closeness or intense feelings that may or may not have any relation to the romantic/nonromantic binary. Someone can be both alterous & romantic &/or platonic & can have varying degrees of attraction, ultimately feel discomfort / unease / or just a sense of inaccuracy in calling it wholly romantic or platonic.
Emotional attraction: the desire to get to know someone, often as a result of their personality instead of their physicality. This type of attraction is present in most relationships from platonic friendships to romantic and sexual relationships.
Intellectual attraction: the desire to engage with another in an intellectual manner, such as engaging in conversation with them, “picking their brain,” and it has more to do with what or how a person thinks instead of the person themselves.
Platonic attraction: is defined as the desire to form a close platonic relationship (friendship) with a specific person, or to form a closer friendship with someone one already knows.
Primary Attraction - attraction that is felt upon first meeting someone.
Romantic attraction: attraction that makes people desire romantic contact or interaction with another person or persons.
Secondary Attraction - attraction that only develops after personally knowing someone for a period of time.
Sensual attraction: the desire to interact with others in a tactile, non-sexual way, such as through hugging or cuddling.
Sexual attraction: attraction that makes people desire sexual contact or shows sexual interest in another person(s).
The above terms can also be used together with prefixes like hetero- homo- bi- pan- omni- poly- and so on! So, if you especially feel alterous attraction towards people of the same gender, you might use the term homoalterous!
Types of "Crushes"
Lush - A sensual equivalent of a squish or crush.
Plish - (proposed by my-only-voice) an instance or example of sensual attraction.
Plush - A queer platonic crush, a strong desire to join in a queer platonic relationship with someone.
Smush - A sexual crush aka Lust.
Squish - An intense feeling of attraction, liking, appreciation, admiration for a person you urgently want to get to know better and become close with. It is different from "just wanting to be friends" in that there is an intensity about it and a disproportionate sense of elation when they like and appreciate you back. In the asexual community, the equivalent of a "crush", but explicitly lacking an interest in forming a romantic couple or having a sexual relationship with the person in question. It does not matter if they are "in a relationship", as long as you two can have a deep connection.
Swish - An aesthetic crush.
Thete - (proposed by Anagnori) An instance or example of aesthetic attraction.
Types of Non-Tradtional Relationships
Aromate - A platonic friend who’s pretty much your soul-mate but in a friend way. You’d totally hold their hand and take them out to movies though. In other words Aromantic partner.
Peach Fuzz - When people in queer platonic relationships pretend their partnership is a romantic one to stave off questions from family and friends.
Quasi/Queerplatonic Relationship - A committed non-romantic relationship that goes beyond what is the subjective cultural norm for a friendship. Levels of intimacy and/or behaviors between the partners involved often don’t fit the conventional standards set by society. Some QPRs can include sex and elements that are generally considered romantic. In practice every queerplatonic relationship is different. Abbreviated to QPR, and queerplatonic (quasiplatonic) partner to QPP. Another common word for QPP used to be zucchini.
__Some Helpful Terms __
Alloromantic - The opposite of aromantic: a person who experiences romantic attraction or romantic desire in a clear, consistent, frequent enough manner to have no relationship to the aromantic spectrum.
Amatonormativity - A tendency of society to treat romantic relationships as more valuable than non-romantic ones.
Aromantic Spectrum - Often shortened to arospec, is a group of romantic orientations that all fall under the umbrella term of aromantic. People on the aromantic spectrum may lack romantic attraction or feel it so little that they related more to the aromantic experience. The common link between people on the aromantic spectrum is that they don't feel the "standard" amount of romantic attraction or they don't feel it in the "standard" way, that alloromantic people do.
Nonamory - Not wanting to form romantic relationships no matter one's orientation.
Soft Romo - Low level romance/romantic attraction/crush/etc.
Hyperromantic - Someone who is extremely or excessively romantic.
Hyporomantic - Someone with low romantic drive.
Noviromantic - Is someone who experiences a complicated romantic attraction (or lack thereof) such that they do not feel it can be described in a single term
Schromantic - Is someone who is aromantic and romantic at the same time, or some mix of the two. (A term used on AVEN) (describing romanticism in terms of Schrödinger’s cat as having the possibility of being romantic and aromantic at the same time).
First Things First:Do you feel romantic attraction towards other people?(Remember: you can always go back to a previous page if you have multiple answers or aren't sure)
Actually, Just Take Me To The Glossary Page Please
End.
You might be: Alloromantic!
https://www.deviantart.com/okaiizia/art/Alloromantic-Flag-Redesign-Read-Desc-Ver-1-815801846
Alloromantic describes the opposite of aromantic: a person who experiences romantic attraction or romantic desire in a clear, consistent, frequent enough manner to have no relationship to the aromantic spectrum.Some labels used by alloromantics include heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, and panromantic.There are also many people who do not label their romantic orientation separately from their sexual orientation because they personally consider them to be the same.(Source: https://aromantic.wikia.org/wiki/Alloromantic)
Yes, but...
I feel indifferent / disinterested / apathetic towards romance/dating.
I only like romance in theory. I feel no need to participate in romantic activities myself. I feel a disconnect between myself and any romantic target or fantasy.
I don't need/want my feelings to be reciprocated. My feelings may even fade once in a relationship with my crush.
Although I crush/squish/etc quickly, once the initial excitement of a new romance fades, so do my feelings.
I feel little to no desire to receive romantic acts myself, only perform them on someone else.
It's influenced in part, or entirely by my neurodiversity.
You might be: Apathromantic!
(source: https://beyond-mogai-pride-flags.tumblr.com/post/175026012885/apath-pride-flags)
Apa(th)romantic describes someone who is indifferent/apathetic to romantic attraction (also called "romance indifferent").Someone with an undefined romantic attraction identity due to indifference or apathy, could be or not arospec; or someone disinterested, indifferent or apathetic to romance, romantic acts and/or orientation.It does not distinguish if the person does or does not have romantic attraction, but just that they are indifferent in receiving it or acting it out.(Sources: https://beyond-mogai-pride-flags.tumblr.com/post/175026012885/apath-pride-flags) and https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/119238-a-list-of-romantic-orientations
You might be: Aegoromantic / Autochorisromantic!
(source: https://pride-color-schemes.tumblr.com/post/146495424425/aegoromantic-autochorisromantic)
Aegoromantic/Autochorisromantic descibes someone who who enjoys the idea of romance, but doesn't wish to be a participant in romantic activities. A person with a disconnect between themselves and the target of their romantic attractions/desires.Aego- or Autochoris- An orientation that is centered around people other than yourself. When you enjoy the idea of a particular kind of attraction, or when that attraction is being experienced by other people, but do not experience it yourself.(Sources: https://pride-color-schemes.tumblr.com/post/146495424425/aegoromantic-autochorisromantic) and https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/119238-a-list-of-romantic-orientations
You might be: Akoi(ne)romantic / Apromantic / Aporomantic / Lithromantic!
(source: https://aromantic.wikia.org/wiki/Lithromantic)
Akoi(ne)romantic / Apromantic / Aporomantic / Lithromantic describes someone who can feel romantic attraction towards others and also enjoy romantic relationships in theory, but doesn't need that affection to be reciprocated or to be in a relationship with the one the feelings are directed towards.Either that, or they may stop feeling the attraction once in a relationship or stop enjoying it.(Note: There is a certain level of controversy linked to the prefix "litho." It was first coined referring to Lesbian Butch culture and SOME lesbians object to it being appropriated to describe a sexuality/romanticism. )(Sources: https://aromantic.wikia.org/wiki/Lithromantic) and https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/119238-a-list-of-romantic-orientations
You might be: Post-rubor / Post-rubor Aromantic!
(source: https://pride-color-schemes.tumblr.com/post/161926088218/post-rubor)
Post rubor meaning "after blush" in Latin.Post-rubor aromantic describes someone who can quickly get crushes on others and have romantic feelings for someone but once the excitement of a new romance/flirtation is gone, the romantic feelings disappear and they feel like any other aromantic person: not developing romantic love. The romantic feelings can last as little as a couple days or as much as a month.Many of these feelings are based on the feelings of others. For example if you are an empath, you can often feel when someone has romantic feelings for you, but begin to block them out quickly, hence the fast dissipation of your own romantic feelings.(Source: https://pride-color-schemes.tumblr.com/post/161926088218/post-rubor)
You might be: Placioromantic!
(source: https://aminoapps.com/c/aromanticdoexist/page/item/placioromantic/)
Placioromantic describes someone who feels little to no desire to receive romantic acts performed on them but expresses interest/desire in performing them on someone else. Not necessarily arospec, but a useful term for the community.The prefix for this term comes from the Latin word “placere” meaning “to please.”(Source: https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/119238-a-list-of-romantic-orientations)
You might be: Arovague!
(source: https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Arovague-651435555)
Arovague describes someone whose romantic orientation is influenced partially, or fully, by their neurodivergency.(Source: https://www.deviantart.com/pride-flags/art/Arovague-651435555
Depends on certain circumstances such as:
I need to feel another form of attraction (sensual, sexual, aesthetic, emotional, intellectual) before I experience romantic attraction.
I only experience romantic attraction after developing an emotional connection.
I experience romantic attraction towards strangers, which then fades as I get to know them.
I only develop romantic attraction after the other person is romantically attracted to me first.
You might be: Apresromantic!
(source: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Apresromantic)
Apresromantic describes someone who experiences romantic attraction only after another attraction (sensual, sexual, aesthetic, emotional, intellectual, etc) is felt.It is possible that the original attraction fades and/or is replaced by romantic attraction.(Source: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Apresromantic)
You might be: Demiromantic!
(source: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Demiromantic)
Demiromantic describes someone who does not experience romantic attraction until they have formed a deep emotional connection with someone.Demiromantic can be a romantic orientation on its own or can combined with other orientations. For example, one could be demiromantic and homoromantic, meaning that when one does experience romantic attraction it's only towards people of the same gender, and they will only experience romantic attraction towards those they have formed an emotional bond towardThe counterparts to demiromantic are demisexual, demiplatonic, and demialterous.(Source: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Demiromantic)
You might be: Frayromantic!
(source: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Frayromantic)
Frayromantic describes someone who experiences romantic attraction towards strangers and people they are less familiar with, which fades away when they get to know them more. Frayromantic is often described as being 'the opposite of demiromantic'.Frayromantic can be a romantic orientation on its own or can combined with other orientations. For example, one could be frayromantic and homoromantic, meaning that when one does experience romantic attraction it's only towards people of the same gender.(Source: https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Frayromantic)
You might be: Reciproromantic!
