So You Think You Might Fall Under The Aromantic Umbrella? Or Maybe You Feel Romantic Attraction In A Non-Standard Way?

That's so awesome!

The aim of this Carrd is to provide a simple "quiz" to help you become aware of some Aromantic and lesser-known romantic terms that you may or may not relate to! I will also be providing a glossary page for those who don't feel like clicking through all the options. You are in no way obligated to identify with the terms I provide in response to your answers.

Yes, there are a bunch of micro-labels.

No, you are NOT obligated to know what every single one of them means.

This “quiz” is purely for the purpose of education and exploration. You could identify with none of them, or you could identify with TEN! Romantic attraction is fluid, complicated, and an entirely personal experience. Just like your sexual oriention, gender identity, gender expression, what have you. That’s why you’ll see so many hyper-specific micro-labels. They are not created as a way to divide us into neat little boxes but are instead meant to empower those who identify with them and help them feel less alone!

On the other hand, I will say I've made the decision to not include micro-labels in which trauma alone has caused the user's aromanticism. While I understand wanting to put a name to your experiences and feel less alone, I am not comfortable with the idea of giving victims of abuse an excuse to never work through said trauma because "oh, well, I'm just such-and-such-romantic now". Your trauma does not have to define you.

One final note: please be aware that the terms I am providing will have nothing to do with your attraction/preference in regards to gender/sex/etc. I'm operating under the assumption that you already know WHO you're attracted to, just not HOW or IF you're attracted to them romantically.

Click Here! for some useful terms you may want to familiarize yourself with before proceeding.

With that out of the way, let's get started!

(Actually, Just Take Me To The Glossary Page Please)

Types of Attraction

  • Aesthetic attraction: occurs when someone appreciates the appearance or beauty of another person(s), disconnected from sexual or romantic attraction.

  • Alterous attraction: a form of emotional attraction. It describes a feeling that is not necessarily platonic/queerplatonic, but also is not romantic in nature. It's a pull toward emotional closeness or intense feelings that may or may not have any relation to the romantic/nonromantic binary. Someone can be both alterous & romantic &/or platonic & can have varying degrees of attraction, ultimately feel discomfort / unease / or just a sense of inaccuracy in calling it wholly romantic or platonic.

  • Emotional attraction: the desire to get to know someone, often as a result of their personality instead of their physicality. This type of attraction is present in most relationships from platonic friendships to romantic and sexual relationships.

  • Intellectual attraction: the desire to engage with another in an intellectual manner, such as engaging in conversation with them, “picking their brain,” and it has more to do with what or how a person thinks instead of the person themselves.

  • Platonic attraction: is defined as the desire to form a close platonic relationship (friendship) with a specific person, or to form a closer friendship with someone one already knows.

  • Primary Attraction - attraction that is felt upon first meeting someone.

  • Romantic attraction: attraction that makes people desire romantic contact or interaction with another person or persons.

  • Secondary Attraction - attraction that only develops after personally knowing someone for a period of time.

  • Sensual attraction: the desire to interact with others in a tactile, non-sexual way, such as through hugging or cuddling.

  • Sexual attraction: attraction that makes people desire sexual contact or shows sexual interest in another person(s).

The above terms can also be used together with prefixes like hetero- homo- bi- pan- omni- poly- and so on! So, if you especially feel alterous attraction towards people of the same gender, you might use the term homoalterous!

Types of "Crushes"

  • Lush - A sensual equivalent of a squish or crush.

  • Plish - (proposed by my-only-voice) an instance or example of sensual attraction.

  • Plush - A queer platonic crush, a strong desire to join in a queer platonic relationship with someone.

  • Smush - A sexual crush aka Lust.

  • Squish - An intense feeling of attraction, liking, appreciation, admiration for a person you urgently want to get to know better and become close with. It is different from "just wanting to be friends" in that there is an intensity about it and a disproportionate sense of elation when they like and appreciate you back. In the asexual community, the equivalent of a "crush", but explicitly lacking an interest in forming a romantic couple or having a sexual relationship with the person in question. It does not matter if they are "in a relationship", as long as you two can have a deep connection.

  • Swish - An aesthetic crush.

  • Thete - (proposed by Anagnori) An instance or example of aesthetic attraction.

Types of Non-Tradtional Relationships

  • Aromate - A platonic friend who’s pretty much your soul-mate but in a friend way. You’d totally hold their hand and take them out to movies though. In other words Aromantic partner.

  • Peach Fuzz - When people in queer platonic relationships pretend their partnership is a romantic one to stave off questions from family and friends.

  • Quasi/Queerplatonic Relationship - A committed non-romantic relationship that goes beyond what is the subjective cultural norm for a friendship. Levels of intimacy and/or behaviors between the partners involved often don’t fit the conventional standards set by society. Some QPRs can include sex and elements that are generally considered romantic. In practice every queerplatonic relationship is different. Abbreviated to QPR, and queerplatonic (quasiplatonic) partner to QPP. Another common word for QPP used to be zucchini.

Some Helpful Terms

  • Alloromantic - The opposite of aromantic: a person who experiences romantic attraction or romantic desire in a clear, consistent, frequent enough manner to have no relationship to the aromantic spectrum.

  • Amatonormativity - A tendency of society to treat romantic relationships as more valuable than non-romantic ones.

  • Aromantic Spectrum - Often shortened to arospec, is a group of romantic orientations that all fall under the umbrella term of aromantic. People on the aromantic spectrum may lack romantic attraction or feel it so little that they related more to the aromantic experience. The common link between people on the aromantic spectrum is that they don't feel the "standard" amount of romantic attraction or they don't feel it in the "standard" way, that alloromantic people do.

  • Nonamory - Not wanting to form romantic relationships no matter one's orientation.

  • Soft Romo - Low level romance/romantic attraction/crush/etc.

  • Hyperromantic - Someone who is extremely or excessively romantic.

  • Hyporomantic - Someone with low romantic drive.

  • Noviromantic - Is someone who experiences a complicated romantic attraction (or lack thereof) such that they do not feel it can be described in a single term

  • Schromantic - Is someone who is aromantic and romantic at the same time, or some mix of the two. (A term used on AVEN) (describing romanticism in terms of Schrödinger’s cat as having the possibility of being romantic and aromantic at the same time).

First Things First:

Do you feel romantic attraction towards other people?

(Remember: you can always go back to a previous page if you have multiple answers or aren't sure)

Actually, Just Take Me To The Glossary Page Please


You might be: Alloromantic!

Alloromantic describes the opposite of aromantic: a person who experiences romantic attraction or romantic desire in a clear, consistent, frequent enough manner to have no relationship to the aromantic spectrum.

Some labels used by alloromantics include heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, and panromantic.

There are also many people who do not label their romantic orientation separately from their sexual orientation because they personally consider them to be the same.


Yes, but...

I feel indifferent / disinterested / apathetic towards romance/dating.

I only like romance in theory. I feel no need to participate in romantic activities myself. I feel a disconnect between myself and any romantic target or fantasy.

I don't need/want my feelings to be reciprocated. My feelings may even fade once in a relationship with my crush.

Although I crush/squish/etc quickly, once the initial excitement of a new romance fades, so do my feelings.

I feel little to no desire to receive romantic acts myself, only perform them on someone else.

It's influenced in part, or entirely by my neurodiversity.

You might be: Apathromantic!


Apa(th)romantic describes someone who is indifferent/apathetic to romantic attraction (also called "romance indifferent").

Someone with an undefined romantic attraction identity due to indifference or apathy, could be or not arospec; or someone disinterested, indifferent or apathetic to romance, romantic acts and/or orientation.

It does not distinguish if the person does or does not have romantic attraction, but just that they are indifferent in receiving it or acting it out.

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You might be: Aegoromantic / Autochorisromantic!


Aegoromantic/Autochorisromantic descibes someone who who enjoys the idea of romance, but doesn't wish to be a participant in romantic activities. A person with a disconnect between themselves and the target of their romantic attractions/desires.

Aego- or Autochoris- An orientation that is centered around people other than yourself. When you enjoy the idea of a particular kind of attraction, or when that attraction is being experienced by other people, but do not experience it yourself.

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You might be: Akoi(ne)romantic / Apromantic / Aporomantic / Lithromantic!


Akoi(ne)romantic / Apromantic / Aporomantic / Lithromantic describes someone who can feel romantic attraction towards others and also enjoy romantic relationships in theory, but doesn't need that affection to be reciprocated or to be in a relationship with the one the feelings are directed towards.

Either that, or they may stop feeling the attraction once in a relationship or stop enjoying it.

(Note: There is a certain level of controversy linked to the prefix "litho." It was first coined referring to Lesbian Butch culture and SOME lesbians object to it being appropriated to describe a sexuality/romanticism. )

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You might be: Post-rubor / Post-rubor Aromantic!


Post rubor meaning "after blush" in Latin.

Post-rubor aromantic describes someone who can quickly get crushes on others and have romantic feelings for someone but once the excitement of a new romance/flirtation is gone, the romantic feelings disappear and they feel like any other aromantic person: not developing romantic love. The romantic feelings can last as little as a couple days or as much as a month.

Many of these feelings are based on the feelings of others. For example if you are an empath, you can often feel when someone has romantic feelings for you, but begin to block them out quickly, hence the fast dissipation of your own romantic feelings.


You might be: Placioromantic!


Placioromantic describes someone who feels little to no desire to receive romantic acts performed on them but expresses interest/desire in performing them on someone else. Not necessarily arospec, but a useful term for the community.

The prefix for this term comes from the Latin word “placere” meaning “to please.”


You might be: Arovague!


Arovague describes someone whose romantic orientation is influenced partially, or fully, by their neurodivergency.


Depends on certain circumstances such as:

I need to feel another form of attraction (sensual, sexual, aesthetic, emotional, intellectual) before I experience romantic attraction.

I only experience romantic attraction after developing an emotional connection.

I experience romantic attraction towards strangers, which then fades as I get to know them.

I only develop romantic attraction after the other person is romantically attracted to me first.

You might be: Apresromantic!


Apresromantic describes someone who experiences romantic attraction only after another attraction (sensual, sexual, aesthetic, emotional, intellectual, etc) is felt.

It is possible that the original attraction fades and/or is replaced by romantic attraction.


You might be: Demiromantic!


Demiromantic describes someone who does not experience romantic attraction until they have formed a deep emotional connection with someone.

Demiromantic can be a romantic orientation on its own or can combined with other orientations. For example, one could be demiromantic and homoromantic, meaning that when one does experience romantic attraction it's only towards people of the same gender, and they will only experience romantic attraction towards those they have formed an emotional bond toward

The counterparts to demiromantic are demisexual, demiplatonic, and demialterous.


You might be: Frayromantic!


Frayromantic describes someone who experiences romantic attraction towards strangers and people they are less familiar with, which fades away when they get to know them more. Frayromantic is often described as being 'the opposite of demiromantic'.

Frayromantic can be a romantic orientation on its own or can combined with other orientations. For example, one could be frayromantic and homoromantic, meaning that when one does experience romantic attraction it's only towards people of the same gender.


You might be: Reciproromantic!


Reciproromantic describes someone who does not experience romantic attraction unless they know that the other person is romantically attracted to them first.

If there is no one around to feel romantic attraction to them, largely recipromantics may feel like simply defining themselves as aromantic describes their experiences just fine.

Reciproromantic can be a romantic orientation on it's own or can be combined with other orientations. For example, one could be reciproromantic and homoromantic, meaning that when one does experience romantic attraction it's only towards people of the same gender.

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It varies / fluctuates / I only feel it sometimes

I experience a fluid or rapidly changing romantic attraction to different gender expressions.

It fluctuates but generally remains on the aromantic spectrum.

My romantic attraction is set but with an exception.

It comes and goes but for no particular reason.

It's somewhere between aromantic and alloromantic. Aromantic almost feels right, but doesn't fully describe my experiences.

You might be: Abroromantic!


Abroromantic describes someone who has a fluid and/or rapidly changing romantic orientation that fluctuates between different romantic orientations.

It can happen between two or more orientations. Each abroromantic person has their own fluidity.


You might be: Aroflux!


Aroflux describes someone whose romantic orientation fluctuates but generally stays on the aromantic spectrum. (ex. one day you're demiromantic, another day lithromantic, the next aromantic, etc)

They may fluctuate between experiencing romantic attraction, some romantic attraction, & experiencing no romantic attraction.

Some people who are aroflux feel as if they are alloromantic at times, while other aroflux people don't feel that way.

Aroflux people can be romance repulsed, indifferent / neutral / apathetic towards romance, or romance positive. They can have any sexual orientation.

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You might be: Borearomantic!


Borearomantic describes someone who has an exception to their romantic orientation, usually revolving around a single person.

For example, if a femme-aligned person who is only attracted to femme-aligned individuals were to be attracted to one specific masc-aligned person.

Also, if someone is aromantic but experiences a romantic attraction, they might want to describe themselves as borearomantic.


You might be: Burstromantic!


Burstromantic describes someone who is normally completely aromantic but occasionally experiences sudden, short bursts of attraction. There may or may not be a specific reason.

Burstromantic can be considered an alternate word for arospike and can be combined with other identities.

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You might be: Greyromantic / Grayromantic!


Grey / Grayromantic describes someone who relates with aromanticism, yet feel that there are parts of their experience that aren't fully described by the word aromantic.

Greyromantic can be used as a specific identity, or as an umbrella term for other specific identities.

A common reason someone may identify as greyromantic is that they experience romantic attraction but very infrequently. Some greyromantic people may only feel romantic attraction once or twice in their life. Others may experience it more frequently, but still not as frequently as alloromantic people.

Some greyromantic experiences may include:

  • Experiencing romantic attraction infrequently.

  • Experience romantic attraction very weakly.

  • Feeling romantic attraction but not desiring a romantic relationship.

  • Feeling unsure about how to identify romantic attraction or how to draw the line between romantic and non-romantic, and consequently feeling unsure about having experienced it or not.

  • Experiencing attraction that is only ambiguously romantic.

  • Feeling alienated from romance.

  • Feeling attraction only in specific circumstances.

  • Finding aromanticism a useful idea, even if it isn't a perfect fit.


I think I do but can't tell because:

I don't experience platonic and romantic attraction differently. I use other factors to determine when it's romantic.

I feel romantic attraction in a non-traditional way that differs from crushes.

I can't differentiate between platonic and romantic attraction, can't define romantic attraction so I'm not sure I experience it, or experience something between romantic and platonic

I am neurodivergent and thus struggle to or cannot differentiate between romantic and platonic attraction.

My neurodivergency / personality disorder / ptsd / trauma affects my romantic attraction.

You might be: Idemromantic!


Idemromantic describes someone who does not internally experience romantic and platonic attraction differently; they distinguish between romantic and platonic based on other factors.

Idemromantic people categorize their interest in others as romantic instead of platonic based on age, personality compatibility, emotional closeness, ease of living together, presence of sexual attraction, or other factors. However, their feelings toward their romantic interests would not be particularly distinguishable from platonic feelings and may be similar to how they feel for a best friend or beloved family member.

They may pursue platonic, quasiplatonic, romantic, or no relationships.

"Idem" meaning "the same" in Latin.

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You might be: Quasiromantic!


Quasiromantic describes someone who may see their attraction as non-traditional or may feel it differs from crushes, perhaps a mix between platonic, romantic, aesthetic, or somewhere completely different and/or it involves other non-traditional aspects, such as rare attraction, or attraction but non-physical, non-platonic but romantic, etc.

Quasi means "seemingly", or "apparently but not really". This means that other attractions can replace the romantic attraction, functioning as a romantic attraction.

They may experience an attraction that is hard to label or is a mix of two or more attractions (e.g. platonic, sensual, aesthetic, alterous etc.) that blend together or alternate. Said attraction/s may function as or seem like romantic attraction to others.

They may experience other non-traditional aspects to their attraction/s, similar to other greyromantic identities, e.g. rare/infrequent attraction, fades, fluxes.

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You might be: Quoiromantic!


Quoiromantic describes someone who either cannot differentiate between platonic and romantic attraction, cannot define romantic attraction and therefore are not sure if they experience it, experience attraction somewhere between romantic and platonic, or want to be in a queerplatonic relationship. It’s also known as WTFromantic or Whatromantic or Platoniromantic.

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You might be: Nebularomantic!


Nebularomantic describes someone who has a hard time or cannot tell romantic attraction apart from platonic due to being neurodivergent. Similar to Quoiromantic.

The prefix nebula- comes from the Latin word nebulous, meaning 'clouded' or 'unclear'.

The term nebularomantic should only be used by neurodivergent people (i.e. those with conditions such as ADHD, Autism, Dyscalculia, Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, or OCD).


You might be: Adfecturomantic /
Affecturomantic / Adfectual / Adfomantic!


Adfecturomantic / Affecturomantic / Adfectual / Adfomantic describes someone whose romantic attraction is affected by one’s neurodivergency, especially fluctuating moods, personality disorders, or effects from PTSD / being a trauma survivor.

Whether romantic attraction is present depends on one’s state of mind.

Comes from the latin words Affectus meaning "to feel" and Adfectus meaning
1. condition, state (of body/mind)
2. disposition
3. feeling, mood, emotion.


No, I don't feel romantic attraction...

I never/don't generally experience romantic attraction.

I don't feel romantic attraction whatsoever. Aromantic feels right but I'm looking for a term that is not also used as an umbrella term.

I don't experience romantic attraction in any form and am repulsed by the idea of a romantic relationship.

I feel indifferent / apathetic towards romantic attraction and romantic relationships.

You might be: Aromantic!


Aromantic (often shortened to aro) describes someone who generally does not experience romantic attraction. Romantic attraction is defined as the desire to be in a romantic relationship and/or do romantic acts with a specific person.

Aromantic people do not have an innate desire to be in a romantic relationship. They might also feel disconnected from the idea of romance.

Being aromantic does not mean that one is unable to experience sexual attraction. An aromantic person can have any sexual orientation. Many aromantics use separate romantic and sexual orientations.

A common misconception is that all aros lack emotions, lack the ability to form social connections, and are "loveless". In reality many aros are capable of feeling love- platonic love such as that between a mother and child or best friends is still love.

Aros can also meet their emotional needs through queerplatonic relationships, or other non-romantic relationships. Some aromantics get platonic crushes or "squishes", also known as platonic attraction.

On the other hand, some aromantics may not experience platonic love or attraction, and may identify as aplatonic. Others may not desire partners of any kind, and may identify as nonamorous. Some aros embrace the loveless label and reject the idea that love is necessary.


You might be: Omniaromantic!


Omniaromantic describes someone who is purely aromantic and has no interest in romantic activities.

This means that they do not feel romantic attraction for anyone under any circumstances, and do not have any interest in engaging in romantic activities. They will not fall in love no matter how long they stay with someone or any other factors that may influence attraction. They do not wish to be in any romantic relationships.

They are also not interested in conversations involving anything about romance or romantic activities, this includes casual, academic, or any other instances of conversation. Omniaromantic people may also be romance repulsed or apothiromantic.

They do not experience sensual or aesthetic attraction and do not experience squishes (platonic crushed). They can experience platonic love or familial love, though not all do so.

Omniaromantic is separate from the regular aromantic label because saying someone is “aromantic” could mean they could be demiromantic, greyromantic, or other such labels. Some aromantics also feel sensual, and aesthetic attraction and/or get squishes.


You might be: Apothiromantic / Antiromantic!


Apothiromantic / Antiromantic describes someone who does not experience any romantic attraction whatsoever, in any shape or form, and is romance repulsed. They do not wish to be in any type of romantic relationship.

Those who are apothiromantic do not seek out romantic relationships and many dislike romantically coded actions such as kissing, or cuddling.


No, but...

I still desire a romantic relationship.

I still have an interest in traditionally romantic things such as cuddling and kissing. I don't desire a romantic relationship, however.

You might be: Cupioromantic!


Cupioromantic describes someone who does not experience romantic attraction but still desires a romantic relationship.

Another name for cupioromantic is romance-favorable aromantic.

Cupioromantic may also be used by people who sometimes feel romantic attraction but desire a romantic relationship even without attraction, for example, a demiromantic person who dates someone on the assumption that they will develop romantic attraction later on.

The prefix cupio- comes from the Latin word, meaning 'desire' or 'to long for'.


You might be: Bellusromantic!


Bellusromantic defines someone who has an interest in traditionally romantic things, such as kissing or cuddling, but doesn't feel romantic attraction, and doesn't want a romantic relationship.

A bellusromantic person may enjoy or desire these activities in non-romantic contexts, but does not enjoy them in the context of a romantic relationship.


Extensive Glossaries That Update Frequently


Thank you so much for checking out my carrd! I hope you learned something today and have been able to better understand the experiences of yourself and others!

Have more questions that weren't covered in this carrd? Feel free to shoot me a dm @technotired on Twitter!